A Memoir

Published electronically, 2020


ISBN: 0-9632661-6-0

Catalogue as: gay memoir


Without planning to, most of what I’ve written has followed the dictum to write about what I know about. There have been a few exceptions, like my plays SOLDIER BOYS, THE SPECIAL CASE, and SPOILS, but the rest has been about what I know best, my gay life. My innocent childhood is reflected in the biography MS. YVONNE, THE SECRET LIFE OF MY MOTHER; my unconscious adolescence is the subject of an autobiographical novella (semi-fiction), called BAT IN A WHIRLWIND; and my dissolute gay youth is covered in lurid detail in an autobiographical novel (more semi-fiction), called DIVINE DEBAUCH.

My first real memoir entitled THERE WAS A SHIP (one might call it semi-nonfiction), recalls two crucial years (1964-66) when a young gay slut fell dramatically from faerie grace and wound up climbing back into the closet. It’s a cautionary tale for young folks, gay or straight, and a fairly sobering picture of homophobic Middle America. That distant time wasn’t at all like the LGBTQIA++ ambiance of today. Read it and give thanks, ye youngsters! And ye oldsters, read it and cringe at how oppressive it was.

The second memoir LORD WIND (full-blown nonfiction), recalls another two crucial years (1970-72), when after five years of wedded fatherhood, I came back out again, this time into a new age of gay culture. Bewildered, I simply went with the lascivious flow, going whither the wind blew—to some interesting places and delightful lovers. It took me those two whole years to take charge of my life and try to become a mature gay man. Read it and be glad for me.


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         INTRODUCTION                                                    1 (see below)

Chapter 1CHEZ CHAS                                       2  in which I move to the new world of DC, discover Victorian houses, take up with a gypsy, ride out Hurricane Agnes, and land a job at the Library of Congress.

Chapter 2CHEZ GEORGE                               11  in which I house-sit, learn Romanian and Bulgarian, send old lovers packing (or not), get (and lose) a pet to a cat, and laugh myself sick in the back yard.

Chapter 3MY OWN PLACES                          20  in which I move in with a marine, grow a mustache, meet a talented lover, reunite with my “sister” Charles, paint a mural, and move to Independence Avenue.

Chapter 4SURPRISES                                      29  in which I meet a Polish colleague, start reporting to the CIA, have a dalliance on Amtrak, meet a Russian prince and bed an African one, look for a house to buy, and find one.

Chapter 5THE NEIGHBORHOOD                 38  in which I explore Logan Circle, witness a shooting, meet other urban pioneer neighbors, get seduced by one, and wipe out at Rehoboth Beach.

Chapter 6COURTING IN THE CASTLE       47  in which my Ken also moves to DC, I become a salvager, save a           historic building, welcome a third princess, entertain guests, and take another stab at dissertation.

Chapter 7FREE AT LAST                                56  in which I give private tours of Rex begonias, have scary adventures in salvaging, bed a shoe salesman, pick up a fourth princess, and kiss off my dissertation.

Chapter 8CAREER MOVES                            65  in which I resign my job, enjoy being out of work, get a gig as an         extra in an opera at Wolf Trap, watch my cannon catch fire, and become a waiter.

Chapter 9:  ADVENTURES IN WAITING        74  in which I get into an Italian menu, find yet another princess, cope      with Persian barbarians, mask as the Minotaur, admire Mark, and visit my Kenny.

Chapter 10PASSING GLORY                           83  in which I envision my own restaurant, coach a chorale to sing          Russian, interpret for composer Kabalevsky, start a garden, and get a gig with the Bolshoi Opera.

Chapter 11A LIFE OF ART                               92  in which I do Arkansas, New Orleans, and Florida, serve an insane    diner, fall for Anthony, woo a Cambodian, lay a real artist, and do family holidays in North Carolina.

Chapter 12SHAMELESS                                  101  in which I aspire to art, paint another mural, meet a Panamaniac,        babysit for ex-wife’s honeymoon, tantalize an adolescent, and watch the disturbing Bicentennial fireworks.

Chapter 13:  REALITY THEATER                    110  in which I contemplate subjective reality, take a desk job, learn to      write shorthand, fall in love with a war hero, and stage some reality theater in Santa Fe.

Chapter 14PATH TO GRACE                         121  in which I juggle two lovers with occasional amorous guests, raise a    roof, welcome a new princess, and attend a birthday party, wedding, and costume ball.

Chapter 15BRUSHES WITH FAME              130  in which I learn demolition, visit King Tut, overlook obesity, cure a    case of virginity, visit my Kenny again, overlook age, and entertain gay celebrities.

Chapter 16NO WARNINGS                             139  in which I decline a job offer, flog artistic inspirations, play Cupid,    get a surprise commission, suffer car trauma, go into the plant business, and watch a fire next door.

Chapter 17BUSHY-TAILED                             148  in which I translate an opera, lose a lover, go to Santa Fe, misbehave  with a cellist, pick up a guy in the airport, and witness Charles lose his grip on reality.

Chapter 18WELCOME BED-FELLOWS       158  in which I suffer a psychic attack, see a ghost, connect with a new  lover, put a crown on the house, and enjoy a reprise of lost love.

Chapter 19THE JUNGLE QUEEN                  167  in which I help a boy be a girl, discover an esoteric interest, return to  Santa Fe, meet a new lover, and find fame and sex in Toronto but only fame in Ottawa.

Chapter 20:  IN THE SWEET SUMMER           178  in which I play boss, am a big shot’s mistress, welcome a new boss man, do Santa Fe again (and Utah), entertain family, and hear an echo of fame in Detroit.

 (Additional chapters will be posted as completed.)


This, my third memoir, again purely nonfiction, is in fact the sixth volume about temps perdus in my blessedly long life. Move over, Mr. Proust! Covering gay life in the 1970s in Washington DC, its subject is very important for gay history, but I sorely regret that the vast majority of the beloved personalities in its dramas have now left the stage. Many have been snatched away by the AIDS plague of the next decade, and other lives have been cut short by wicked diseases, tragic accidents or implacable old age.

Now entering my 80th year, I’m apparently the only character left standing onstage, and I feel it my elder’s duty to recall that gilded age of carefree gay liberation. My grandchildren’s and children’s generations are too young to remember that renaissance time in gay culture. If no one remembers it, history might as well have never even happened.

This third memoir, as mentioned above, will relate eight years (1972-80) of the gay renaissance in Washington DC when we gays enjoyed both a vibrant culture and an open and exhilarating society, albeit still second-class, on the national stage. This will mostly be about me, of course, but in large part also about my closest friend and associate Charles—who sadly can’t tell his story anymore. It will be about our building a stylish and notorious gay household—then in the 70s an up-and-coming social phenomenon in urban gay life.

My main concern is to portray the many wonderful characters as sharply and truly as I can, which will challenge me to be a lot more objective than I’ve often been. Since those dear people can’t tell their stories either, I’ll try to narrate the remarkable history we shared. I hope my performance won’t be to an empty house.

Wondering how to start, I dug into my archives of materials filed away nearly fifty years ago. I hoped to get a handle at least on the timeline and immediately discovered that my old brain had filed a memorable (though brief) love affair in a totally wrong time-slot. Also I saw that the final events in my second memoir LORD WIND had really been more complex than I’d written. No matter.

Given the subjective nature of memory, whatever we remember is naturally going to be fiction to one degree or another. Maybe my massive files of objective evidence will help me figure out more of who I really was back then, rather than the idealized image I’ve been clinging to all these years. It’s hard to believe in my being as beautiful, intelligent, talented, charming, and seductive as I recall, but then maybe I actually was.

Leaving New Orleans in late May, 1972 with friend Lee in his U-Haul truck, I may indeed have been all those neat things, but mostly I was a long-haired refugee from a failed teaching career and love affairs that lasted only as long as they could. In Washington DC I was going to start life anew, a brave and ultimately reasonable move for a gay guy just turned thirty.